About Us

We don't like Van Johnson.  All we do is hate on Van Johnson. Here's a couple reasons why:

1. He's big and I don't like him

2. I'm scared that he's going to eat me

3. He plays so much Dead by Daylight to the point he would actually die if he went outside during the daytime

4. He literally only plays online competitive games

5. He's big

6. He doesn't like survival minecraft?!?!11?!? Like wtf??!??/1/!1??!?! Says it's because "it takes too long to find a nether fortress" (actual genuine skill issue)

7. He spent 59 hours on Ghost of Tsushima just to beat it on the hardest difficulty for no reason

8. He has a buttchin

9. He's chopped cheese

10. Spent 250 smackaroos on Ghost of Yotei's collector edition for no reason

11. His nipples are like mountains

12. He GLAZES modern Eminem

13. Showed me a Darth Vader EDM song that he listens to

14. He chunky

15. Listens to the DOOM OST and is proud about it, he put it in a "all about me" presentation that he gave to the class

16. Won't admit that he's wrong most of the time

17. Most wannabe thug of all time yet he is just a pussman

18. Lives in a gated community with two parents that love him dearly

19. Complains about having to do things that he signed up for

20. Owes me $3.50

21. Makes you buy mid $10-$20 dollar games and BEGS you to play them