Note: Everything on this website is satire. Quite literally everything is a joke. Nothing is to be taken seriously. All pictures were removed as to not have any pictures of underaged people on the site. Sorry.
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About Us
We don't like Van Johnson. All we do is hate on Van Johnson. Here's a couple reasons why:
1. He's big and I don't like him
2. I'm scared that he's going to eat me
3. He plays so much Dead by Daylight to the point he would actually die if he went outside during the daytime
4. He literally only plays online competitive games
5. He's big
6. He doesn't like survival minecraft?!?!11?!? Like wtf??!??/1/!1??!?! Says it's because "it takes too long to find a nether fortress" (actual genuine skill issue)
7. He spent 59 hours on Ghost of Tsushima just to beat it on the hardest difficulty for no reason
8. He has a buttchin
9. He's chopped cheese
10. Spent 250 smackaroos on Ghost of Yotei's collector edition for no reason
11. His nipples are like mountains
12. He GLAZES modern Eminem
13. Showed me a Darth Vader EDM song that he listens to
14. He chunky
15. Listens to the DOOM OST and is proud about it, he put it in a "all about me" presentation that he gave to the class
16. Won't admit that he's wrong most of the time
17. Most wannabe thug of all time yet he is just a pussman
18. Lives in a gated community with two parents that love him dearly
19. Complains about having to do things that he signed up for
20. Owes me $3.50
21. Makes you buy mid $10-$20 dollar games and BEGS you to play them
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